Yes, maybe… probably!

It’s Friday, May 13th (insert ubiquitous bad-luck joke here). The Toronto Marathon is on Sunday. I just flew in to The Big Smoke with as many of my worldly possessions as I could fit in two suitcases and am currently standing (the chairs are in a moving truck somewhere around Moose Jaw) in the kitchen of my new Toronto home. All things considered, I am pretty content… and yet…

The first official interaction I had with Tania regarding this Makeover was on Feb 1st and since then I can (boastfully) say that I have not missed a single workout. To be honest, I didn’t know that was an option. Tania and Lucy told me what I needed to do and I did it (training is easy that way). And yet some how, at this late stage in the game, I feel unprepared.

I have seen remarkable growth in myself as a runner in those 3 months. Growth that I can literally measure in seconds and minutes and still I feel oddly skeptical of my own abilities. Can I sustain 4:15/km for 21.1km? The math says “yes”, my training logs say “yes“, Tania, Lucy and Ilia say “yes”, but my inner skeptic says “maybe“. I can coax him into saying “probably” but that is a far as he will go.

I am familiar with being nervous. I played in the band Captain Tractor for 12 years to every size of audience – 25,000 to 25 people. Prior to that I was a “Male Ballerina” (as Tania calls me) and I have also dabbled in acting, so I feel qualified to say that the feeling I have right now isn’t nerves… it’s just plain, old, unadulterated, doubt.

So, what am I going to do? Here’s the plan: I’m going to remind myself of my training sessions (luckily I have them very well documented), rest lots, eat well, go through my race plan with Lucy and Ilia (I have already gone through it with Tania), enjoy the race expo, try to be congenial (despite my worry level) at the Brunello Carbo Dinner, prepare my awesome Adidas race gear, sleep as well as I can and then “trust in the process” as they say. If that fails… I will high-5 every kid on the race course and finish with a huge smile on my face!

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